Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (163 degrees C). Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper pressed flat into the corners.

Add eggs and softened cream cheese to a blender. Blend on high for 1 to 2 minutes until completely smooth with no lumps. Scrape down the sides halfway through.

Pour batter onto the prepared baking sheet. Spread into one very thin, even layer using a silicone spatula. Work quickly and tilt the pan gently to level any uneven spots.

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes until the edges are pale golden and just pulling from the parchment and the center is fully set and dry. Do not overbake.

Remove from the oven and cool completely on the baking sheet for at least 25 to 30 minutes at room temperature. Do not skip this step.

Once fully cooled, use a pizza cutter or sharp knife to slice the sheet into thin strips about 1/4 inch wide. Cut in long confident strokes.

Bring a pot of salted water to a full rolling boil. Gently lower noodles in using tongs or a spider strainer. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes until heated through and tender.

Drain gently with a spider strainer or slotted spoon. Serve immediately with warm sauce or broth.